"You should try to play it in your mind before you go in for exam."
"But i can't!"
"Why?"
"I'll forget it, or play it wrong, i just can't do that imaginery playing thing."
"That's because you are finding perfection.'

I am quite amazed at my unknown desire to strive for perfection, as i accept mistakes quite easily and dosen't feel the kind of drive -you know,grit your teeth and work till you drop-at perfomrning tasks. I then realized i probably wanted very very absolutely, for things to go how i want it to go everytime i perform. Let it be a small thing,like frying my sausages(which i tried and blacken everything), but i still won't let it go without some kind of determination to show them, hey-i can do it!

Sunday 16/1/11

I like Likelicious, some Facebook application for people who have nothing better to do. There's a phrase saying: If you hug a pillow and you will probably thinking about him/her.This bothers me a bit, when it shouldn't, 'cause I just thought of someone else out of bounds to hug.

Huh.I feel guilty, like I just did a crime and didn't fess up and didn't feel sorry(which logically shouldn't make me feel guilty).

Reasons:
1. My mum will be shocked and give me the EVIL eye.
2. My dad will be shocked and give me the EVIL eye.
3. My friends will be shocked and give me the Look.

So basically it's just other people's thinking that set us into a frenzy about something. Which leads to the conclusion that is the world has me and another boy I like-left, I will probably go declare my love and do stuff like that(yea sometimes I imagine that picture *smiles).Even if they do reject, there's nobody to see it and you won't have to hide from the world!!

My advice to someone wanting to confess/propose but don't have the guts to do so, imagine there's no one else on Earth and the confession will be WAY easier.

p.s.(Not that I will try it,but just maybe after near-human-extinction.)

Wednesday 12/1/11

Hmm. I think I'm collapsing in the bed every night what with all the homework i never have to do at home for the last two years. I also think there's something wrong with my bladder. You see, I need to go to toilet much more frequently and that's not a very convenient thing when teachers are barking out homework and how-to-do-your-homework.I hope I don't have bladder problems.

I've been thinking about a boy. I confessed to him many moons ago to make sure I really like boys, not girls. Plus he was cute. Anyway, I've been thinking about him and wondering if I will ever really like a boy with my boy-expectations that are set sky-high. Maybe I won't ever have a boyfriend, 'cause I know I'm scary sometimes.

Talking about opposites sex,Gandhi REALLY impresses me.Just now I read about Mahatma Gandhi and found him a bit evil, though another picture of him is A LOT peaceful than that evil picture.He is like a saint, what with him being a celibacy,vegetarian and dressed to be accepted by the poorest person. He even tried going on a pure-fruit-diet. These are small stuff compared to all the things he had done, but these small stuffs astonishes me.

And he said something about cow's milk that makes me really,really....Gandhi is disgusted with cow milk, because of cow blowing(actually that is really disgusting). I don't really drink milk all the time, but I'm thinking of ways to make my family not drink milk,or change to other kinds of milk. Really hard. I think we despise goat milk even more than Gandhi hates cow milk.

My youngest sister pretty much disgusts me too. She plays computer all the time and even threw a can into the paper-recycling-bin. She drinks milk and looks like a fat pig at the same time. She can't even say "weakeaned" properly when I had taught her for times. She's ten and still speaks like a toddler. Maybe I'm too strict and too near to perfect(haha), but a ten year old like her makes me ...disgusted,I guess. When I'm trying to tell my mum to correct my sister's faults to make her a better person, my mum tells me to shut up.Real loud.

There goes another mother who've spoiled her daughter into a less-than-nice being.I've got only so much to say.

Monday 10/1/11

Yesterday I pushed off my day with friends singing karaoke and laughing like madmen,and pushed off my supposed-to-be day at the mall shopping with my family and eating overpriced ice cream.To go to MPO,short for I don't know.I thought it was the right choice, since my piano teacher already booked this meaningful Sunday last year for MPO.

So there I go, arriving at my carpool at 2, carpooling to KL and arriving at 3,and dozed my head for about 4, after an hour of a lot of Gerswhin and orchestra music. I keep looking around for anyone, just ANYONE who will read a book that is no entitled "Baby Blues Blabla".It intro things about the orchestra, I supposed. I knew I'm being ungrateful and rude and not respecting those on stage, but it was EXTREMELY hard when I needed to read.

I specially made a deal with my dad and get scolded by my mum, just to but Diary of a Wimpy Kid, just to go reading with lovely music in my ears.I had the book hidden under my jacket because there's an awful lot of people who were listening INTENTLY at the orchestra. These people(a lot of with blue eyes and golden hair and with a lot of music brains) were those who gives you disapproving looks when you don't understand rules.

I know, because I received lecture the first time I was sitting in my chair and dozing off at orchestras.

Anyways, the point is I swore never to go to ANY orchestras.EVER again.Although I did enjoy the music when my mind wasn't foggy and my eyes were actually in focus.

I got back to my piano teacher's house at six thirty,and phoned my Mum. Half an hour later I was tempted to ask where was she?But she got me to it.I was not very happy when she informed me about waiting for another half hour for them to do their shopping.

Around 8 o clock I already finished Diary of a Wimpy Kid twice, going on the third round and madly planning out revenge for their inconsideration and selfishness.Then they arrived, looking very happy with shopping bags all over the place.We drove to the supermarket, because I was awfully hungry and that made them unusually quiet.

Well, I grabbed a lot of sushi and hand rolls for my dinner(or else it will be Maggie). My mum asked my if I want my favourite Kokokrunch.I snatched the biggest box.When things were normal me and mum fight over weather to buy the cereal or not.

What can I say? My dinner was quite torture since I had way to much sushi.
Conclusion:To buy my clothes without looking at the price tag to revenge on my mum that went back on her promise.I remembered afterwards that mum had promised me to not go shopping far far away and have fun without me.

Tuesday

There are an awful lot of homework(which is fun to do but wastes lot time)from Ms Raynie and i realise i need afternoon naps. My head is swarming everything it's last period/it's evening time.

I have also been appointed to be the one in charge of class cleanliness, which is funny since i rarely clean my own house. Still, i don't think i'll enjoy bossing people around and spending my recess in the classroom for the whole year. Doesn't sound great,cleaning stuff and sniffing dust. Still, nearly the whole class appointed me(i saw them),so i guess i'm really bossy.

I wrote a bit on "A Student's Dreams" because my homework load is heavier than a pile of bricks. Blahblahblah. It looks a tiny bit corny talking about my daydreams.

"Being a Student, i have a lot of dreams, because it's the right time for someone to dream.Dreams are different from what you want to be, because dreams are usually more dreamy and far far away from where you are.Or would be.

Well, lots of people did not reach their dreams, either they are being too unrealistic, or they did not work hard enough. I don't know. But i have a lot of it bursting in my head like fireworks every time i lost focus and need a nap. "

Huh. I finished till that because i do not know how to continue, and it's not really good anyway.Cross my fingers and wish for a not-so-boring teacher for KH tomorrow.I Really need some sleep.

Monday 3/1/2011

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!


It's FINALLY 2011!I'm quite excited on the first day to school on my form 3 -- 'cause there's so many new things to look forward to!New teachers, new books, new lessons, new clothes, plus the Chinese New Year that better don't disappoint me. Yea, it's a pity i can't have new friends in my class 'cause everybody remains. So boring.

Anyways, I'm going to work extra hard this year for myself, so i told myself I'd better stand the test of time( which unfortunately, never happened in my past life ). Hmm. I don't expect my eyelids to be so tired today at Geography class, so i didn't catch anything the droning teacher said. If my eyelids are going on like that for the rest of the year, i'll flunk and fail my subjects -- something i'd never tried before.

First day of Form 3 -- I actually feel rather good about the new teachers, just not the seat arrangements. Seriously, how am I going to take a nap sitting on the front row in front of the teachers? I can't even keep a chat flowing with my neighbour, thanks to my uncle who drove me a minute earlier to school before it's too late. So i didn't get the chance to save a good seat.

The mighty unpopular in my class(or the school)sits alone.Happy and lonely. Well, Mighty Unpopular Yi Ling made it.Again.I don't know how the girl barge her way in,but she's in as a prefect, without having to wait for a second for practicing and experiencing. I heard she's going in for being Head Prefect.Wow.I hope never. She's the kind that barges her way in study groups and stuff,because nobody wants her.

All in all, a very good day for me. I just need to do some time management and arrange so afternoon nap. Very important. I also need to scrap enough money to buy the series of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Although i read it already, the cover is nice and the pictures are funny. ^^

Fourteen

Sometimes I prefer schooling days.Just sometimes.'Cause almost everybody do nothing in holidays.And I always end up wasting it and doing nothing and get bored and get tempted to go shopping and waste my(mum's) money.Haha.Well,I dont think my clothes are a waste.

So,other than reading books and writing new year resolution,i like to find things to amuse myself.Like about a week ago,mum bought some blinds to eliminate ugly curtains.So every time someone opens the door, the blinds will be pushed towards the windows and let out a sound.I keep opening the door for fun just to listen to the sound.And laugh when my dog takes a step back every time he i do it.

Well, that just shows how bored i am.Just to kill time, i read a "how to get rich" book mum bought and still hadn't got rich. It's bit like 1,2,3. You save,you invest,you keep the money to stay rich. Yeah,quite easy if you can keep it out with enough PR and enough study. But then the author quoted something that's really brilliant:

Thought leads to actions,
Actions lead to habits,
Habits become your character,
Character determines destiny.

Just one thing,though. He talked a lot about characters and stuff and that's not really something you can just take it,off the book and into your life. You'd have to developed it yourself and have it in your mind something special that makes you successful and rich and all those things.Blablabla.Who dosen't know.

So i take some actions and write out some really detailed new year resolutions that took my half an hour to thought out. And a year to act out. It's not that hard to know what you want and what you can want if you have a right direction and enough sense.Hmph. That's really vague,isn't it?

Well, I really do want improvement, and that's something mummy and daddy can't give,and i really do want next year, when I'm 15(getting older), that i can do something meaningful that will make a sweet sixteen,seventeen and after. Not like being a star like Justin Bieber(who despite his awful young-ish,really did make it) overnight.

Not that I didn't dreamed of it before.

Thirteen i wasted on a lot of sick,love novels and stupid daydreams and sleeping in classes.Fourteen i found improvement(not in the height section,definitely) so i decided to use my fifteen to find what kind of person i'll be after my teen life.I think time is kinda rushing through because I'm no longer gonna be fourteen.:/

Some people might say how young it is to be fourteen and stuff like that.But many times,many times people will say, it's too late.

ME,i'm definitely not saying those dreaded three words.