"You should try to play it in your mind before you go in for exam."
"But i can't!"
"Why?"
"I'll forget it, or play it wrong, i just can't do that imaginery playing thing."
"That's because you are finding perfection.'

I am quite amazed at my unknown desire to strive for perfection, as i accept mistakes quite easily and dosen't feel the kind of drive -you know,grit your teeth and work till you drop-at perfomrning tasks. I then realized i probably wanted very very absolutely, for things to go how i want it to go everytime i perform. Let it be a small thing,like frying my sausages(which i tried and blacken everything), but i still won't let it go without some kind of determination to show them, hey-i can do it!

Sunday 16/1/11

I like Likelicious, some Facebook application for people who have nothing better to do. There's a phrase saying: If you hug a pillow and you will probably thinking about him/her.This bothers me a bit, when it shouldn't, 'cause I just thought of someone else out of bounds to hug.

Huh.I feel guilty, like I just did a crime and didn't fess up and didn't feel sorry(which logically shouldn't make me feel guilty).

Reasons:
1. My mum will be shocked and give me the EVIL eye.
2. My dad will be shocked and give me the EVIL eye.
3. My friends will be shocked and give me the Look.

So basically it's just other people's thinking that set us into a frenzy about something. Which leads to the conclusion that is the world has me and another boy I like-left, I will probably go declare my love and do stuff like that(yea sometimes I imagine that picture *smiles).Even if they do reject, there's nobody to see it and you won't have to hide from the world!!

My advice to someone wanting to confess/propose but don't have the guts to do so, imagine there's no one else on Earth and the confession will be WAY easier.

p.s.(Not that I will try it,but just maybe after near-human-extinction.)

Wednesday 12/1/11

Hmm. I think I'm collapsing in the bed every night what with all the homework i never have to do at home for the last two years. I also think there's something wrong with my bladder. You see, I need to go to toilet much more frequently and that's not a very convenient thing when teachers are barking out homework and how-to-do-your-homework.I hope I don't have bladder problems.

I've been thinking about a boy. I confessed to him many moons ago to make sure I really like boys, not girls. Plus he was cute. Anyway, I've been thinking about him and wondering if I will ever really like a boy with my boy-expectations that are set sky-high. Maybe I won't ever have a boyfriend, 'cause I know I'm scary sometimes.

Talking about opposites sex,Gandhi REALLY impresses me.Just now I read about Mahatma Gandhi and found him a bit evil, though another picture of him is A LOT peaceful than that evil picture.He is like a saint, what with him being a celibacy,vegetarian and dressed to be accepted by the poorest person. He even tried going on a pure-fruit-diet. These are small stuff compared to all the things he had done, but these small stuffs astonishes me.

And he said something about cow's milk that makes me really,really....Gandhi is disgusted with cow milk, because of cow blowing(actually that is really disgusting). I don't really drink milk all the time, but I'm thinking of ways to make my family not drink milk,or change to other kinds of milk. Really hard. I think we despise goat milk even more than Gandhi hates cow milk.

My youngest sister pretty much disgusts me too. She plays computer all the time and even threw a can into the paper-recycling-bin. She drinks milk and looks like a fat pig at the same time. She can't even say "weakeaned" properly when I had taught her for times. She's ten and still speaks like a toddler. Maybe I'm too strict and too near to perfect(haha), but a ten year old like her makes me ...disgusted,I guess. When I'm trying to tell my mum to correct my sister's faults to make her a better person, my mum tells me to shut up.Real loud.

There goes another mother who've spoiled her daughter into a less-than-nice being.I've got only so much to say.

Monday 10/1/11

Yesterday I pushed off my day with friends singing karaoke and laughing like madmen,and pushed off my supposed-to-be day at the mall shopping with my family and eating overpriced ice cream.To go to MPO,short for I don't know.I thought it was the right choice, since my piano teacher already booked this meaningful Sunday last year for MPO.

So there I go, arriving at my carpool at 2, carpooling to KL and arriving at 3,and dozed my head for about 4, after an hour of a lot of Gerswhin and orchestra music. I keep looking around for anyone, just ANYONE who will read a book that is no entitled "Baby Blues Blabla".It intro things about the orchestra, I supposed. I knew I'm being ungrateful and rude and not respecting those on stage, but it was EXTREMELY hard when I needed to read.

I specially made a deal with my dad and get scolded by my mum, just to but Diary of a Wimpy Kid, just to go reading with lovely music in my ears.I had the book hidden under my jacket because there's an awful lot of people who were listening INTENTLY at the orchestra. These people(a lot of with blue eyes and golden hair and with a lot of music brains) were those who gives you disapproving looks when you don't understand rules.

I know, because I received lecture the first time I was sitting in my chair and dozing off at orchestras.

Anyways, the point is I swore never to go to ANY orchestras.EVER again.Although I did enjoy the music when my mind wasn't foggy and my eyes were actually in focus.

I got back to my piano teacher's house at six thirty,and phoned my Mum. Half an hour later I was tempted to ask where was she?But she got me to it.I was not very happy when she informed me about waiting for another half hour for them to do their shopping.

Around 8 o clock I already finished Diary of a Wimpy Kid twice, going on the third round and madly planning out revenge for their inconsideration and selfishness.Then they arrived, looking very happy with shopping bags all over the place.We drove to the supermarket, because I was awfully hungry and that made them unusually quiet.

Well, I grabbed a lot of sushi and hand rolls for my dinner(or else it will be Maggie). My mum asked my if I want my favourite Kokokrunch.I snatched the biggest box.When things were normal me and mum fight over weather to buy the cereal or not.

What can I say? My dinner was quite torture since I had way to much sushi.
Conclusion:To buy my clothes without looking at the price tag to revenge on my mum that went back on her promise.I remembered afterwards that mum had promised me to not go shopping far far away and have fun without me.

Tuesday

There are an awful lot of homework(which is fun to do but wastes lot time)from Ms Raynie and i realise i need afternoon naps. My head is swarming everything it's last period/it's evening time.

I have also been appointed to be the one in charge of class cleanliness, which is funny since i rarely clean my own house. Still, i don't think i'll enjoy bossing people around and spending my recess in the classroom for the whole year. Doesn't sound great,cleaning stuff and sniffing dust. Still, nearly the whole class appointed me(i saw them),so i guess i'm really bossy.

I wrote a bit on "A Student's Dreams" because my homework load is heavier than a pile of bricks. Blahblahblah. It looks a tiny bit corny talking about my daydreams.

"Being a Student, i have a lot of dreams, because it's the right time for someone to dream.Dreams are different from what you want to be, because dreams are usually more dreamy and far far away from where you are.Or would be.

Well, lots of people did not reach their dreams, either they are being too unrealistic, or they did not work hard enough. I don't know. But i have a lot of it bursting in my head like fireworks every time i lost focus and need a nap. "

Huh. I finished till that because i do not know how to continue, and it's not really good anyway.Cross my fingers and wish for a not-so-boring teacher for KH tomorrow.I Really need some sleep.

Monday 3/1/2011

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!


It's FINALLY 2011!I'm quite excited on the first day to school on my form 3 -- 'cause there's so many new things to look forward to!New teachers, new books, new lessons, new clothes, plus the Chinese New Year that better don't disappoint me. Yea, it's a pity i can't have new friends in my class 'cause everybody remains. So boring.

Anyways, I'm going to work extra hard this year for myself, so i told myself I'd better stand the test of time( which unfortunately, never happened in my past life ). Hmm. I don't expect my eyelids to be so tired today at Geography class, so i didn't catch anything the droning teacher said. If my eyelids are going on like that for the rest of the year, i'll flunk and fail my subjects -- something i'd never tried before.

First day of Form 3 -- I actually feel rather good about the new teachers, just not the seat arrangements. Seriously, how am I going to take a nap sitting on the front row in front of the teachers? I can't even keep a chat flowing with my neighbour, thanks to my uncle who drove me a minute earlier to school before it's too late. So i didn't get the chance to save a good seat.

The mighty unpopular in my class(or the school)sits alone.Happy and lonely. Well, Mighty Unpopular Yi Ling made it.Again.I don't know how the girl barge her way in,but she's in as a prefect, without having to wait for a second for practicing and experiencing. I heard she's going in for being Head Prefect.Wow.I hope never. She's the kind that barges her way in study groups and stuff,because nobody wants her.

All in all, a very good day for me. I just need to do some time management and arrange so afternoon nap. Very important. I also need to scrap enough money to buy the series of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Although i read it already, the cover is nice and the pictures are funny. ^^

Fourteen

Sometimes I prefer schooling days.Just sometimes.'Cause almost everybody do nothing in holidays.And I always end up wasting it and doing nothing and get bored and get tempted to go shopping and waste my(mum's) money.Haha.Well,I dont think my clothes are a waste.

So,other than reading books and writing new year resolution,i like to find things to amuse myself.Like about a week ago,mum bought some blinds to eliminate ugly curtains.So every time someone opens the door, the blinds will be pushed towards the windows and let out a sound.I keep opening the door for fun just to listen to the sound.And laugh when my dog takes a step back every time he i do it.

Well, that just shows how bored i am.Just to kill time, i read a "how to get rich" book mum bought and still hadn't got rich. It's bit like 1,2,3. You save,you invest,you keep the money to stay rich. Yeah,quite easy if you can keep it out with enough PR and enough study. But then the author quoted something that's really brilliant:

Thought leads to actions,
Actions lead to habits,
Habits become your character,
Character determines destiny.

Just one thing,though. He talked a lot about characters and stuff and that's not really something you can just take it,off the book and into your life. You'd have to developed it yourself and have it in your mind something special that makes you successful and rich and all those things.Blablabla.Who dosen't know.

So i take some actions and write out some really detailed new year resolutions that took my half an hour to thought out. And a year to act out. It's not that hard to know what you want and what you can want if you have a right direction and enough sense.Hmph. That's really vague,isn't it?

Well, I really do want improvement, and that's something mummy and daddy can't give,and i really do want next year, when I'm 15(getting older), that i can do something meaningful that will make a sweet sixteen,seventeen and after. Not like being a star like Justin Bieber(who despite his awful young-ish,really did make it) overnight.

Not that I didn't dreamed of it before.

Thirteen i wasted on a lot of sick,love novels and stupid daydreams and sleeping in classes.Fourteen i found improvement(not in the height section,definitely) so i decided to use my fifteen to find what kind of person i'll be after my teen life.I think time is kinda rushing through because I'm no longer gonna be fourteen.:/

Some people might say how young it is to be fourteen and stuff like that.But many times,many times people will say, it's too late.

ME,i'm definitely not saying those dreaded three words.

10 days at my aunt's house

At first it's really a disaster,because Peanut,my aunt's shitzu,Zaizai and Deedee (mine)just keep on molesting each other and what with the whole poo-n-pee-in-the already-cramped house,not exactly something you'll be having fun with.
Then it gets better when this holiday just keeps on stretching on and on.....wasted by me sleeping till noon and playing till night and sleeping again.......not to mention all those guessing at who-produce-that-puddle-of-pee-or-poo.Really,that's a lot of arguing since i believe my dogs didn't behave like that.
It also gets better when i dug out the book Memoirs of a Geisha and become obsessed over it for days.It really is a torture to my eyesight and skin since i have about minimum sleep,bu it's all worth it.There's also a thing more on my to-do list to watch the Geisha movie.
What happened to my homework and stuff?Well,no one prefers to mention such boring things,right?But i do quite enjoy writing the script for my aural group,it's very entertaining not to mention extremely funny with my brilliant ideas....but i don't want to exaggerate anymore.My group members will have to work out all the sparks to make it really fun.I hope so.
Sighs.Sometimes blogging is such a waste of valuable time.

Blog Sweet Blog

Im finally back to blogging!i have the sudden urge to writing something, weather it's for depressing boring things in my daily life or exciting amazing things that go in my mind. Im not sure...but it's nice to be writing instead of blabbing it out to someone and waste all my saliva.

Hmm...what's new in my life?Im going to cram in my relative's small small house with allll my family because my house's renovating and all those boring things to stress people out(frankly,i don't know much about these things because they're naturally done by parents and that's that,right?)

Lately i think i might be bisexual....but that's something you don't wonder out loud to anyone...except people who read my blog.==Then i figured out that people are naturally attracted to each other...and why must it be from different gender?no harm done at all.But to be perfectly honest,i think i like boys better than girls.Well...it's safer and boys are better.No reason for that,but boys are always better.To me.Albert Einstein and Shakespeare and all those great great guys i can't even place a name on them are GUYS.It's call mankind not womankind for a reason.Haha...but who am i to say all these?I'll just make sure i marry a good guy in future......XD

Sighs....I seriously need to say my wishes out loud...so that a God or two can hear it and make it true.Because Im greedy and want it to be granted early.No?Because Justin Bieber has his wish granted on the age of 15 and is famous and successful for a teenager.Sometimes idols make you feel small.

Well...seeing as Im not going to say my wishes out loud here after all,it's enough for today.Stop my weird dreams for a day and wish me a good night sleep, someone :)

Complicated

Triple sighs.Yesterday,which is my birthday,i have had the most boring ever afternoon in the whole universe.I know the meaning of sienz since yesterday.Now i am so obsessed on j law and kirio,and i can't dig more info out of them,life's boring if a genius haven't create shopping,songs,and friends.Really really sad 'cause don't want to believe kirio done a plastic surgery....the days left of my holiday will be incredibly do-nothing-except-eat-and-sleep if i don't find something to do or get out of this house.More like get away from this computer that can't hack kirio's blog.......haha....

Crazy act

It's not weird at all for me to search till 2 in the morning for pics of hot guys,which i just done this morning.I got an obsession over J Law and Kirio,once i saw their pics.My first thought is hey,handsome+handsome=happily ever after,or something like that.So i totally jealous and wish i got a bf as handsome as them.After lots of googling and reading and collecting their pics(sighs,one amazingly cute and another incredibly handsome),i classify J Law and Kirio as the most incredible couple i have ever seen.Maybe i am crazy or abnormal to admire(madly in love seems more understanding) gays(i hate labelling them gays),i admit i am one stupid handsome-guy-lover.I have even dreamed of them and of course daydream them......J Law and Kirio can be 24 hours in my mind.I have to try hard to stop this crazy obsession,'cause it's pointless knowing other people's life yet they don't know you,at the same time,they are not super stars or anything like that,so i like them more.This is hard work,deleting them(not the pics of course)so i don't feel stupid,the key is to find another more handsome guy and start some admiring,blablabla.Pretty boys are 99% gay,no deny.Sometimes i just wish i am a boy(pretty boy).

miss u much

it's only a few months but i already feel like i lost u....i miss u much,my friends.happy chinese new year too.

tell me if i flirt wif u be4

my fantasy bf is wicked

Money is not everything

Money is not everything,but is almost everything.

Without money,I never ever get to go shopping.Without money,I won't have a proper

education.Without money,I am going to live in a cardboard box under the bridge.Without

money,I will be eating banana skin.Without money,I will be walking naked or wearing

newspaper.

That's the worst thing about money.No wonder my cousin moans like hell when the price goes

up up up.The best thing about money is that you can buy respect,women,or play a game of 'burn

the money'.

Money is not everything,there's MasterCard and Visa.

Again,i think females are like bastard

I seen something on a novel and think it is absolutely right--females are cheap(don't mistake me,some females are cheap).

Every single female in the universe wants a partner that is handsome,rich,have good abilities,speaking with good manners,and their sex gotta be kinky and fun .The best of all is being very nice and take extra care and love them with all his mind.

They themselves can be lazy and spend all the money on shopping or don't get to have well manners.Everyone wants to hear 'gentleman',no ones give a thought about 'gentlewoman',when there's billions X billions of women which are acting like wild cows--no--wild hippopotamus.

Females are like some kinda maniac,shouting hoarse or acting crazy when they find out their partner kissing,flirting,doing any things that sounds sensitive,when they themselves enjoy being love by some other men,or sleeping with them?

Cinderella wouldn't ever marry the prince if he wasn't handsome,will she?
No.I don't think she will wanna marry with a guy who's got a big belly,small eyes,short or all that.Even in fairy tales,there's only the girl being poor,being not-very-charming,all the boys Must be like Prince Charming.

Females are sometimes bastard

It's weird saying this 'cause i m a girl,but i can't push away the mind that females are sometimes bastard.

Why is that?

Well,sometimes females act like supreme hero in front of male,'cause they think now that the female world is much more higher in quality than male.It's totally unfair because without male,you won't have another boyfriend,or husband.Without male,you won't have the chance to get a proper sex.Without male,the Earth won't spin again.

Sometimes some female blame all the problem on male, which isn't fair.Example:a man cheated on a woman,and then the woman do something idiotic like taking drugs,dying,and all that nonsense.When the woman finally get it all over,she will think that all the men in the whole universe are scum or something smelly that roll over on a shit.

There are all these stuff about men being scum,but i think that lesbians exist because they think that men are animals stuff with worms,or brains stuck up at the buttock(too low-class for them).

12-year-old 's job

The only ever suitable job for a 12-year-old teenager (child?) in the 21st century is learning.

Learning is something that will never ever ends,and i didn't doubt that God will learn all.You can

learn languages,science and maths....Then,when you upgrade to a higher level you will learn

more.But when a totally brain box and science/maths legend human will discover more about the

subjects and even when you learnt it all,you will have to learn again.One day when Mars

bumped into Earth,i seriously want to tell you that not a human on Earth or an alien on Mars will

finish the job and learn all the languages.

The unsuitable and disagreeable job for a 12-year-old teenager(child??) is going out

in couples,dating.I think it the most unsuitable job 'cause elders say that we got no moral

(another thing to learn).Is it no moral,when you kiss your boyfriend/girlfriend?I am very sure

that the parents or teachers or headmasters or respectable persons does that.

The most poor and bad luck and awful job for a 12-year-old teenager(child???)is being a

beggar.Like,you gotta stay under a boiling sun or under a almost-crumpled bridge or in the

middle of a street,using this ever so hurt expression to look at strangers,hoping against hope

that they will pity a few dollars for you.Of course,you can have got nothing but a raising eyebrow

or a quick look,then you can starve off today and cart off to the hospital.

Well,of course nearly no-one in the 12-year-old world want to do the right job.The second job

seems the best.Only an alien want to have the third job.

12 years old,38kg = fat ?

OK, you gotta admit i m really fit and slim--at the face and hands. I am getting desperately

desperate because my legs are full of f.a.t.and tummy look like i have swallow a beach ball,which

really helps when i wanna wear swimming suit or bikini.Not.

Don't laugh,'cause it's a terrifyingly serious problem.Like,am i going to suck in my tummy for the

rest of my life?Wearing tight shorts or skirts to keep it in?What am i going to solve this world-

class-serious problem?I can't help when all the fat wants to stay at my tummy,they just don't

want to go to my hands or my cheeks.

I am mortified if every one keeps telling me to stop eating.I have ban ice-creams out of my life

and chase away junks.I fell in love with vegetables and fruits.

It's a weeny bit difficult to tell me for exercises.I am not rubbish at it,i am just reasonably

good.It's no good to give me medicines.Like,you only give me that if you want my mum to kill

you.

I am sure millions and billions of girls are chubby(no offence) but it's difficult to find a case like

mine.When i saw the poster of a girl so slim on the upside,yet the downside is terribly ridiculous,

i am quite scared i will be like that.This is all because I am gonna upgrade into a teenager.Bah.

Galfriends and Boyfriends

Why on the hell parents don't let teenagers go in couples? Discuss.

1.They think your results will be bad if u start sticking a bf/gf/.(which seems likely to be true)

2.They think you will have sex with your bf/gf.(they are acting a crime if they think this,our grandma and grandpas make love when they are only 15)

3. They think you will waste your time with your bf/gf,rather than them.(no solving to this problem,every teenagers are like this)

4. They think this is not common sense to have bf/gf too early.(pur-lease!this is absolutely within the law!!)

5. They think you will become a gay/les or start raping boys/girls or needed to send to mph(mental problem hospital)or got problems on mental and fizical.(no arguing,this is quite true)

I think i need to communicate more with my parents 'cause big rows small rows medium rows will appear if i don't,and this is definetly the only way to solve problems.